Pokémon Sword and Shield: EXPOSED
I'm trying to avoid Sword and Shield spoilers (in the game's story and all that), but after hearing about my favorite Pokémon Zoura and Zeraora being cut (of course, Zeraora is a mythical Pokémon), I looked at the full Pokedex and some of the new mons look weird.... Game Freak is defiantly running out of ideas. So let's EXPOSE some of these new monsters. SPOILERS! These are the new monsters so if you don't want to see them, then scram!!!!
Spoiler Alert:
#1-#3: Grookey, Thwackey, and Ribaloom
To be honest, Grookey looks cute. But look close enough....
Yeah....
Thwackey looks fine, but who came up with the name?????
Ribaloom looks like he took trees and called it a wig. So far, Grookey line looks good.
#4-#6 Scorbunny, Raboot, and Cinderace
Scorbunny's artwork is literally Chespin's. Took the same face from him and called it a day.
Is this Pokémon or Naruto because Raboot looks like a Naruto character. Or maybe an anime character. At least it's not fire-fighting.
I love Cinderace. Reminds me of this fake leak:
But, Cinderace sounds like Cinderella to me. Maybe give it a good name??????
Okay. Looks good for the Scorbunny line. Now Sobble's…..
#7-#9, Sobble, Drizzle, and Inteleon
I'm skipping Sobble. But Drizzle.... oof….
I don't like this design. Why are the colors green???? Who gave you that hairstyle???? Ugh....
Inteleon…. I love the gloves but he needs improvement. I know, you want to be James Bond so badly...
Alright. now for the mons!!!!!
Blipbug, Dottler, Ortbettle
Man, I can't tell if this is Pokémon or origami (like I said, GF is running out of ideas). They literarily have to use PS1/N64 polygons to make this?
Rookidee, Corvisquire, and Corviknight
Rookidee looks like an Angry Bird.
Corvisquire looks cool, but again, the names... sounds like Quagmire.
Corviknight is okay. I'm going to skip him.
Skwovet and Greedent
It's bad. You look like Sandy Cheeks from SpongeBob.
I love the expression. But that expression makes you look like a Looney Tune.
This one is interesting: Nickit and Thievul
So... your name is Nickit and you're a fox..... 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 who does that sound like..... oh yeah.....
Nickit Wilde.
It's just a fox but with extra details. NEXT! Wooloo and Dubwool
Wooloo is cute.. but it's evolution.....
Swear you want to be Gogoat so bad....
Chewtle and Drednaw
You look like a Mario enemy wait... you and the ghost gym leader Allister look like Mario enemies!
Yeah... you look too blocky.
Yamper and Boltund are okay.
Gossifleur and Eldgloss
It's just a floating banquet of flowers.
I don't like this. It's just a dandelion afro.
Sizzlipede and Centiskorch
What are you supposed to be???? I know you're trying to be a centipede, but what???
I wish this was a dragon bug thing because it looks like one.
I'll skip Rolycoly. For the others I'll see Carkol and Coalossal.
You look like a frog stuck in coal.
You look like a Golem wannabe.
Arrowkuda and Barraskewda
Everytime I hear that name, I sing this in my head:
"My arrowkuda don't, my arrowkuda don't
My arrowkuda don't want none unless you got buns, hun"
It's just Arrowkuda with a $1 Halloween mask bought under the sea.
Milcery and Alcremie
It's cute but what are you?
It's just a Swirlpuff bootleg. Still cute.
Applin, Flapple, Appletun
Again, GF ran out of designs. I bet they were like:
Man 1: "We need a new Pokémon for Sword and Shield."
Man 2: *Eats apple*
Man 1: (looks at apple) "OH MY GOD! I just had a idea!"
Yeah.
Is that a lizard inside that apple????
Aww so cute... is that Elliot from Pete's Dragon?
Impidimp, Morgrem, and Grimmsnarl
You want to be a Gremlin so bad.....
(WAKE ME UP WAKE ME UP INSIDE)
You know what he looks like?????
LOOOOK!!!! Grimmsnarl looks like a hairy version of Green Goblin.....
Hatenna, Hattern, Hatterene
Look at those Dumbo ears.... or whatever that is.
Looking cute.
You look like a good witch. Still cute.
Cufant and Copperajah
I thought Galar is based off the UK or Europe? Why does this Pokémon look like it belongs in India?????
Copperajah just sounds so werid… what kind of name is that???
Cramorant
You kook like one of those birds from Nemo. Also look at this image and tell me if he's choking or killing poor Pikachu?
Also the Pokedex description says for Sword:
"This Cramorant has accidentally gotten a Pikachu lodged in its gullet. Cramorant is choking a little, but it isn't really bothered."
Basically this image sums it up:
Toxel and Toxtricity
You look like a Barney character.
Geez, want to be Spyro so bad.
Silicobra and Sandaconda
You kinda remind me of Ursula's garden from the Little Mermaid:
Yeah.... it looks like a snake choking a lizard or a crocodile.
Sinsitea and Polteageist
You look like a Beauty and the Beast character that never made the cut.
That also applies to you, Poltergeist. I mean TEAgeist.
Indeedee
You look like Dubwool but weird.
Morpeko
Why another Pika clone???? WHYYY???
Falinks
Can't tell if I'm looking at a worm or the worm's butt.
Snom and Frosmoth
I almost thought you were Ditto.
It looks like an owl's head while the wings are bedsheets.
Clobbopus and Grapplot
If Splatoon had a mascot, it would be this.
I love this evolution here but you look like a sumo wrestling squid(ward).
Pincurchin
(cough) Pyukumuku (cough cough) sorry.
Stonjourner
You are just rocks.
Eiscue
It's just a penguin with an ice cube, why is this a Pokémon????????
Duraludon
I get that you are Tyranitar's rival, but you look like a lighter. Actually, let the internet explain:
Here's better designs:
Game Freak, take notes!!!!
Dracozolt
You look like a Dragontales character.
Arctozolt
It's just a dragon with an iceberg as the body.
Dracovish (again with the Dracos)
I.... can't explain this one.
Arctovish (agin with the arctos)
You look like a messed up Wailmer/Wailord.
Dreepy, Drakolak, and Dragapult
You look like Armaldo with the head.
Is it me or why does Drakolak's pose look like something out of a horror scene?
It's a hanglider dragon.
(Photo also done by me!)
Finally, the legends: Zacian, Zamazenta, and Eternatus
Zacian with no armor looks like Wooloo with the braids.
But with the armor it looks like a mix between Dragon Quest's Erdrick/Loto and Great Wolf Sif from Dark Souls.
Zamazenta looks depressed with no armor.
But with armor, well, it looks fine. The colors reminds me of Roy from Fire Emblem.
And finally....
You may think this is a powerful Pokémon with a low catch rate. But guess what it is:
And now for the Galar forms!
Zigzagoon, Linoone and Obstagoon
Zigzagoon, Linoone and Obstagoon
All 3 want to be KISS so bad... Obstagoon looks like Gene Simmons.
Why does Kanto always get the treatment? Galar Meowth looks like a Catscratch character.
This is what Meowth will look like in 2030.
Farfetch'd and Sirfetch'd
This version of Farfetch'd looks similar to the original but with a bigger leek.
Is that a shiny??? Just kidding.
Stunfisk
Looks like Galar Weezing's colors.
Corsola and Cursula
Why did they do this to you?
It's just a sea plant.
Weezing
Let this image explain it all:
Yamask I'll skip. Here's Runerigus:
Yeah. I prefer Cofagrigus.
Ponyta and Rapidash
They are just My Little Pony characters.
Mr. Mime and Mr. Rime
I... okay.... it's.... terrible.
You look like a rejected Mary Poppins character.
I'll skip Darumaka. Here's Galar Darmanitan:
What's with the snowball afro??? You look like you came out of the 80's.
Well, that's all of them. Done and done. This took me long to type and my hands hurt. So, if you liked this, feel free to comment. Until then, bye!!!!!
